tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8090148211644196102024-03-13T11:54:52.722-07:00 dwntwn girl<br>
Random thoughts and news in the world of the Dené.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06320870414381986661noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-809014821164419610.post-17363964492639513272015-07-21T16:18:00.001-07:002015-07-21T22:06:05.474-07:00What's it all Mean?Once, at the age of 12, I yelled with all my might out to the Universe, demanding to know who this God was that I had been praying to my whole child life and questioned if "he" really existed. Right before I fell asleep, I fiercely asked out loud..."SHOW ME WHO YOU ARE, I want to see you, show me your face, who are you and why am I praying to you?!" Then that night I had a dream, one that I vividly remember till this day. It almost feels like an actual memory that strangely all came back to me years later after it had happened.<br />
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In this so-called dream a beautiful being of pure white light graced me with it's presence. I couldn't remember seeing a detailed face only the gleaming light of decadent white energy in the form of a human body. We walked into what was my backyard at the time and then shot straight up into the night air like a lightening-fast bullet! I then began to softly float like a feather into what looked like a crystal city of lights; I felt so comfortable there--even more so than any home I have ever had here on Earth. I was then brought to a panel of a few other light people who I stood before. They were sitting perfectly spaced apart from one another, again there were no distinct faces just that fine gleaming light. They gave me some very important information telepathically but I can't exactly remember what they said or really what happened next. I only recall my descend back again into my 12 year old world. My traveling glow-friend and I went back the same way we came, shooting straight down just as quickly as we had gone up. I am sure we departed sweetly from each other too but everything seems like such a blur at that point. The last thing that flashes to mind was when I woke up from the dream after only a few hours of being asleep... those moments felt like pure joy and ecstasy because I was consciously awake and still <i>high</i> from the heavenly experience I had just encountered. My throat even felt scratchy from all the salt water I had been swallowing due to the buckets of tears pouring out of my eyes and into my mouth and nose. I laid there streaming these joyful tears for what seemed like hours. Even my pillow was drenched on both sides where my cheeks laid and I couldn't stop smiling--felt like the widest smile I had ever made in this life!<br />
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So did I get to meet "God" in another dimension or did I just have one wild sleep time? I am not 100 percent sure. However, over the years I have heard of similar occurrences but only in instances of near death. I have read quite a few books and articles on the subjects of Near Death Experiences (NDE's) and "lives in between lives" in search of some answers. Many of the testimonies share similar meetings with these faceless light folks who comforted them after bad car wrecks or were standing along side their hospital bed as soon as they flat-lined and "crossed-over". I would love to know if there are any others out there who have ever experienced something similar to my situation. Debating being hypnotized and brought back to that moment of when I met with those entities to find out what they might have told me.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06320870414381986661noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-809014821164419610.post-55360529977313693652015-07-18T01:50:00.002-07:002015-07-18T01:50:24.441-07:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06320870414381986661noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-809014821164419610.post-50954268119477802362013-08-07T10:31:00.002-07:002013-08-07T10:41:02.839-07:00Our bodies are not our own...only borrowed, respect them.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06320870414381986661noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-809014821164419610.post-65097496064771716032012-09-20T20:05:00.000-07:002012-09-20T21:16:29.144-07:00WE LOVE YOU GIRARD DEMURO!!!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
To my dearest Girard DeMuro...</div>
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I'm not sure if you ever really knew how much you were loved, but I truly hope you can feel it now. You've left a huge gaping hole in everyone's heart that knew you...feelings of overwhelming sorrow, guilt, confusion, and frustration fill our minds. Wishing you had just reached out...we would have been there to grab your hand, ALL of us! You were/are one of the most talented, funniest, down-to-earth souls I have ever met..."The Alexander McQueen of Hair". Me and you had so much unfinished business left to do, as I'm sure so many are feeling. You were adamant about being my personal stylist when CityDive finally took off...we dreamed about traveling to distant places together, how I would take you with me wherever I went. I wanted that so bad, and you gave me the exact support I needed. You believed in me so much, more than anyone. I felt that whenever we saw each other. </div>
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I remember when we first met about 12 years ago, during the Be.Headed/Paisley Violin days, back when it was on Roosevelt. I was working at Paisley as a barista at the time, about the age of 19 or 20. You had just thought of the Be.Headed salon concept and were so excited to create your business next store. I was so proud of you, watching you grow your company and seeing it flourish over the years. I'll never forget when you helped throw my 21st birthday at Paisely as the DJ, what an eventful evening that was haha! You were such an awesome DJ and musician too, talent just oozed out of you! Was looking forward to playing that zombie along with all the other girls for your video. Me and Fuchsia were talking about getting everyone together to still create it in honor of you, hope that would be ok.</div>
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The one thing that will always stick with me, was on set during the filming of "Heartbreak and Lullabies"....You said the kindest most genuine thing to me, you said "Tondra, I'm so very proud of you, I was watching you during your scene, and you are so talented!" I'll never forget that Girard, it meant so much coming from you, especially because you've known me for so long and knew where I came from. I could really feel that you were proud of me. You gave me an extra boost of confidence for each scene of that film and made me feel like a beautiful star because of the fabulous job you did with my hair! You, your sweet heart, your beautiful soul, and all your amazing work will be forever immortalized in all of us...We will never ever ever forget you Girard Demuro. We love and cherish everything that you are!!! Rest in peace my love, can't wait to see you again on the other side...</div>
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Strolling around downtown Phoenix together<br />
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Documenting Girard doin me up for my last scene :)</div>
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Some of the hair Girard did for "Heartbreak and Lullabies"</div>
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Me and Fuschia Angel on set, photo by Girard</div>
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Us during a CityDive episode!</div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-g-JNbnKqYVg/UFvCaKLy6eI/AAAAAAAAAM4/xDa1a-5NnfY/s1600/girard+4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-g-JNbnKqYVg/UFvCaKLy6eI/AAAAAAAAAM4/xDa1a-5NnfY/s320/girard+4.jpg" width="214" /></a></div>
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Love you forever babe...</div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-xJonr870TxI/UFvC-BKOjmI/AAAAAAAAANg/x_APIuM-9Vs/s1600/girard.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-xJonr870TxI/UFvC-BKOjmI/AAAAAAAAANg/x_APIuM-9Vs/s320/girard.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-8FVdG87sgYI/UFvCgC5VcFI/AAAAAAAAANA/zDkdSaV1QP4/s1600/girard+3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-8FVdG87sgYI/UFvCgC5VcFI/AAAAAAAAANA/zDkdSaV1QP4/s320/girard+3.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;"> We will be holding a candle light vigil and service of remembrance and respect to Girard this Friday at 8:30 pm at Cityscape in downtown Phoenix. Please bring a white candle.</span></div>
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<!--3-->Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06320870414381986661noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-809014821164419610.post-43618366640304876652012-08-09T01:11:00.000-07:002015-07-13T17:39:13.332-07:00Veronica my Muse!One of my dearest friends Veronica and I used to get all dressed up and do wild things. One time we decided to dress "colonial" (as she put it) with blond wigs and white corsets. I got inspired to take some photos of her... years later, like 10 to be exact, I finally edited them... I think they came out out pretty cool! Love you V!<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06320870414381986661noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-809014821164419610.post-78306370827540308662012-08-08T23:14:00.000-07:002012-08-08T23:18:14.403-07:00To my <span style="color: red;">h e a r t</span>, you know who you are:<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">"People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. Soul mates, they com</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">e into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave. A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master.."</span><br />
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- Elizabeth Gilbert, page 149 from her book "Eat, Pray, Love".</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06320870414381986661noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-809014821164419610.post-81485738212563458572011-12-13T02:46:00.000-08:002011-12-15T21:13:31.163-08:00Cool HerbsAs a vegetarian I try to find new ways to be as healthy as possible. Maybe because I'm somewhat more aware of what I put into my body due to having to avoid meat over the past 9 years. Regardless, it's been an interesting road and a fun challenge being a veggie head. I've also been researching a lot of "effective" herbs and ask a lot of my health-nut friends questions on looking younger and living longer. Here are some of my latest findings:<br />
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<u>Rhodiola Rosea</u>: I was told this herb works as a natural <a href="http://www.medterms.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=14345">dopamine</a> in your body, working to make you feel "happier" and helping you handle stress better. It's also designed to help with mental clarity (God knows I could use that). I was recommended to use Gaia brand, to find out more go to their link: <a href="http://www.gaiaherbs.com/products/detail/68/Rhodiola-Rosea-">Gaia Brand Rhodiola</a><br />
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<u>Inca Maca Root</u>: I knew about this herb from a few years back but was reacquainted with it the past year. I remember when I first started taking it was because I was searching for something that would help with stamina and energy levels. I was quite surprised to also find that not only did it give me a ton of energy but it made me extremely "randy" yes, as in Austin Powers, it produces a super high libido! It also balances hormonal levels, rebuilds week immune systems, and re-mineralizes poorly nourished bodies. I've been taking this brand <a href="http://www.macaroot.com/">Magic Maca</a> which comes straight from the Andes Mountains in Peru. The most important thing is that it's actual "Inca" Maca from what I'm told. I'm looking into getting the herb from an herb shop to see if it's more cost effective.<br />
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<u>Curcumin</u>: There's a lot folks around the world that eat a ton of curry in their meals, many of which reside in places like India and Thailand. A lot of these cultures do not suffer with certain ailments like Alzheimer's, cancer, arthritis, which are all highly prevalent diseases in the US. The reason being is that these diseases are a product of inflamed cells in the body. Turmeric is the main ingredient found in curry and is the responsible agent for helping calm inflammation and detoxifies the body. <a href="http://www.jarrow.com/product/291/Curcumin_95">Curcumin</a> is a super condensed form of turmeric and helps with detoxifying your liver as well as any oxidative damage. You can pick up a bottle at any health food store.<br />
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<u>Miso/Fermented Soy</u>: I asked what is one thing that will keep you really healthy and young. Several health gurus said <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miso"><u>Fermented soy aka </u><u>Mis</u>o</a>. They said the Japanese know all about sustaining their health through this supplement, that's why they have the famous Miso soup! Just do a little research on it yourself and you'll see that it even has been counterbalancing radiation poisoning. You can buy fermented soy at almost any health food store or Whole Foods, Sunflower Market, Sprouts etc. I've been mixing it in a lot of dishes and it tastes great!<br />
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<a href="http://www.sutherlandia.org/" style="text-decoration: underline;">Sutherlandia Frutescens</a>: Is a powerful blood purifier. Sources say that it has the potential to totally alkaline the body, meaning that it will abliterate inflammation in the body including cancer and even HIV. You want your body to live in a PH balanced <a href="http://www.billschoolcraft.com/ph/">alkaline</a> state. If your body is too <a href="http://www.billschoolcraft.com/ph/">acidic</a> you will be more likely to harvest disease. Sutherlandia is hard to order in the US because its a plant only harvested in South Africa.<br />
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<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mucuna_pruriens">Mucuna Pruriens</a>: Is used in a lot of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ayurvedic_medicine">Ayurvedic Medicine</a>. Helps with sexual function, hormonal balance, depression, and management of Parkinson's Disease. This herb contains <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/L-DOPA">L-DOPA</a>, a precursor to the neurotransmitter dopamine. The L-DOPA content increases when extracts are prepared. L-DOPA converts into dopamine, an important brain chemical involved in mood, sexuality, and movement.<br />
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<a href="http://healthybodydaily.com/dr-oz/healthy-eating/pgx-benefits-pgx-controls-and-balances-blood-sugar-levels">PGX</a>: Helps with digestion, balancing blood sugar levels and weightloss. It's recommended to take ten minutes prior to eating sugary foods in order for the body to not store unnecessary fats and sugars.<br />
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<u>Castor Oil Packs</u>: I first heard about this from <a href="http://www.edgarcayce.org/are/edgarcayce.aspx">Edgar Cayce</a>. If you're not sure who Edgar Cayce is, I suggest you look him up, he cured over ten-thousand people through his use of holistic health practices. My friend recommended these packs for the tons of knots I have in my back, he says they will totally melt them out of my body, I'm excited to see if it actually works. The process is slightly messy but for what it does and all the aliments that it has so far cured, it's definitely worth a try. You can find out how to make a pack from the <a href="http://www.edgarcayce.org/are/holistic_health/data/thcast1.html">Cayce site</a>. I was able to purchase everything from Whole Foods, as far as the flannel and the castor oil.<br />
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Since I mentioned a lot of info on alkalizing the body for treatment of diseases like cancer, I think it's also important to know about <a href="http://www.curenaturalicancro.com/">Dr.Tullio Simoncini</a>. He explains that cancer is basically a fungus in the body and is treatable through sodium bicarbonate aka baking soda. To learn more about this process go to his <a href="http://www.curenaturalicancro.com/">site</a><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="letter-spacing: 1px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px;">.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> </span></span></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06320870414381986661noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-809014821164419610.post-66223787358405121462011-11-23T01:58:00.000-08:002011-11-23T15:07:49.723-08:00FishiesEvery few weeks or so I'll have a reoccurring dream where I'm cleaning out a murky fish bowl or tank, full of half-alive fish. I take out any dead fish, clean the whole aquarium out, fill the tank back up with fresh water, and nurse the half-alive fish back to health, so-to-speak. In the process of giving the fish fresh water and food I think I even pet a few and tell them it's all good and their gonna be just fine. I wake up feeling satisfied that I helped all those little guys out and at the same time I definitely feel like my subconscious is trying to tell me something. So I decided to Google search some fish dream interpretations and was a little surprised to read what they had to say:<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 24px;">"To see an aquarium in your dream indicates that you are aware of certain feelings that you possess but haven't been able to deal with. This may include needs, wants, and fantasies related to sex. Alternately, it may imply that you are at a stagnant point in your life and are confused as to which path to follow. It may also suggest that you are overly stressed and need to slow down, take a deep breath, and try to focus." </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 24px;">(this one made the most sense)</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 24px;">"</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">To see or clean a fish tank in your dream indicates how you have full control of your emotions. You keep your feelings in check. If you are watching the fish in the fish tank, then you may feel that your life is going nowhere or that you are going in circles with your life."</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">"To see fish swimming in your dream signifies insights from your unconscious mind. Thus to catch a fish represents insights which have been brought to the surface. Alternatively, a fish swimming in your dream may symbolize conception. Some women dream of swimming fish when they get pregnant. The fish is also an ancient symbol of Christianity and Christian beliefs. Consider the common phrases "like a cold fish", "fish out of water" or something that is "fishy" about a situation. It may also imply a slippery or elusive situation. Perhaps your dream could be telling you that "there are plenty of other fish in the sea", with regards to some relationship issue."</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06320870414381986661noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-809014821164419610.post-1817416099762587812011-11-22T23:51:00.000-08:002011-11-23T00:15:41.417-08:00Ghost of my heart...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-EZ7My0JqnzA/TsylMPIkCYI/AAAAAAAAAHI/Vbjs1h6feyU/s1600/Heart+spot.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-EZ7My0JqnzA/TsylMPIkCYI/AAAAAAAAAHI/Vbjs1h6feyU/s640/Heart+spot.jpg" width="536" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">This felt good to create....Sometimes words can never describe how you're truly feeling inside. </span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06320870414381986661noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-809014821164419610.post-4952615781072708742011-11-21T21:18:00.000-08:002011-11-21T21:45:02.316-08:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I've been working on a new series of what I imagine as "love strings" or soul ties that one might still have connected to a former or current lover. I found this really cool picture of a<span style="text-align: -webkit-auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">carte-de-visite portrait of </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="text-align: -webkit-auto;">a young girl standing by a balustrade holding a hat. P</span><span style="text-align: -webkit-auto;">hotographed by "Merrick" at Joseph Langridge's photographic studio, 33 Western Road, Brighton (c1864). I added transparent jelly fish tentacles to portray what I envision as these elusive heart strings....</span> this is a concept photo that will help me in my drawings that are soon to come.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fKafO47luXQ/TssyF2mQaZI/AAAAAAAAAHA/n3WiniH_R_A/s1600/hope.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fKafO47luXQ/TssyF2mQaZI/AAAAAAAAAHA/n3WiniH_R_A/s320/hope.jpg" width="232" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06320870414381986661noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-809014821164419610.post-78241809183038617852011-11-09T15:26:00.000-08:002011-11-21T22:36:01.212-08:00H e a l i n gI decided to get some spiritual insight of my father who passed a decade ago and to also figure out how cut any strings that are making me still attached to an ex. Wow, I am so glad I did, I woke up yesterday feeling like a million bucks, like a whole new beginning encompassed a fresh perspective on my life.<br />
<br />
<br />
I always pass <a href="http://www.visionquestbooks.com/">Vision Quest Metaphysical Bookstore</a> on Scottsdale road to a fro work and always wondered about stopping inside to get a "reading". Lately I've been a little depressed about a lack of peace from a few people in my life and was feeling like I needed to get some clarity on everything and help heal any lingering pain. I've been thinking I needed to do a little more work on my part to really mend myself and get some inner peace. <br />
I was a few minutes early for my appointment, and noticed a blonde lady with a warm demeanor similar to Paula D (the Southern TV chef) sitting at a little table towards the back of the building. Carolyn the Clairvoyant welcomed me to have seat. I noticed a lot of little rocks of many different colors in front of me, along with a deck of tarot cards and a small pumpkin jack o'lantern in a snow globe. She was extremely sweet from the start, she asked about my name and complimented me on the uniqueness of it. Then explained all the steps of her half an hour session with me.<br />
We first started with Reiki, she put my hands in hers for a few moments and then looked up at me. She seemed a bit astonished and told me that any positive energy she was giving me was coming right back to her. She said that I was a "Lightworker", that I am a natural healer, and if I ever thought about doing Reiki that I should definitely do so. She explained that God is waking up all the Lightworkers at this present time because the planet needs a lot of healing, and that it's important to use our gifts that have been given to us in order to not have any "blocks" in our life. It started to all make sense to me, why I've been having these dreams about dead or disheveled people coming to me asking me to help them. I always tell them to "lay down in the light" and they immediately turn to light themselves, smile and then disappear.<br />
Carolyn then read my aura. She told me the first color that she saw was a white light surrounding me, meaning that my spirit was of pure light. Then she said she saw gold meaning that I'm emerging into my spiritual gifts and fruition. The last color that she saw was green, meaning that I have a tremendous amount love for nature and that I'm going to be very prosperous, that I will never have to worry about not having enough money. Haha well that was a bit of a relief to hear I thought.<br />
She then said she wanted to balance out my <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chakra">chakras</a> and had me hold two different rocks, one in front of my belly and another in front of my heart. She explained if all your 7 chakras are in alignment you will be able to see your path clearer in front of you and you'll know where you're going. She said to eat berries, nuts and decaffeinated tea and told me that it was really important to walk barefoot on the ground because that brings about continuous grounding for your entire being.<br />
<br />
I told her I had a <a href="http://www.google.com/search?source=ig&hl=en&rlz=1G1GGLQ_ENUS273&q=soul+tie&oq=soul+tie&aq=f&aqi=&aql=&gs_sm=e&gs_upl=112l423l0l674l3l3l0l0l0l0l0l0ll0l0">soul tie</a> with someone that I'd like to break, that it was making me very depressed because all I want is peace with him and to just be friends. Carolyn then told me how to break a soul tie, she told me about the visualization technique and walked me through it. You first start out by imagining that person in front of you with strings connected to each other's hearts. Then you say everything you want to say to that person and then visualize cutting the strings that bind you. Wish them well by saying "God bless you" or "peace be with you" and then see yourself turning around and walking away from them. I did this exercise the night before last, and as I said, I woke up feeling refreshed and like new yesterday--so I think it really did work!<br />
She then had me shuffle the cards, and then explained what they said. What she told me was exactly what I needed to hear, I couldn't believe how everything was so right on. Once you loose a parent or a close friend, sometimes seeking spiritual advice is the only thing that can give you some true solace. Sure you feel extremely vulnerable and awkward sharing yourself in this manner, but the reward of braving yourself to do so is totally worth it. It was as if the universe talked to me for a few moments and shared with me everything going on within and around me. I would share more of what they had to say but it's probably better that I keep the information to myself, I figured if what Carolyn said was right, I would see it unfold in the future.<br />
<br />
Our time was up, but she continued to want work with me. I asked about my dad, if he was anywhere near. She pulled out a few cards and said that all my spiritual gifts came from him. That he will visit me in my dreams in the next three months (which he has already done in the past). That he loves me very very much (a given). She also shared that he has never really left me and that he is one of my spiritual guides and is always looking out for me. That was all very comforting, but I kind of had a feeling of all that already, regardless it was nice to be told these things.<br />
<br />
Carolyn ended by writing the words "I am" on her business card. She said that when people meditate by saying "Om" that it means God, but so does the phrase "I am". So she said to meditate on whatever I wanted to be and say "I am" in the beginning of it, if you add "now" at the end of the phrase it makes it more immediate. I definitely believe in positive affirmations, I think they can really strengthen your spirit.<br />
I am so glad I went to visit Carolyn, the overall experience was amazing and really helped me in so many ways. I recommend her if you feel like you could use some guidance and some inner peace. As I said, after our visit, the night before last, I woke up yesterday feeling totally renewed. I will definitely go back to see her in the future. In the meantime, I'll be looking into practicing some Reiki and speaking some positive "I ams". Looking forward to some awesome new beginnings!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06320870414381986661noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-809014821164419610.post-6049477197032925862011-11-06T23:14:00.000-08:002012-11-13T02:04:00.892-08:00l o v eI'm not afraid to express it. To carry it on my shoulders.<br />
<br />
When leaving this plane, I know that I've done everything I could in order to attempt to make peace in every situation where I might have caused pain or discomfort. I am a peacemaker, that's who I am.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06320870414381986661noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-809014821164419610.post-49639025677494276472011-10-18T04:30:00.000-07:002015-07-21T16:21:18.941-07:00crushedI feel absolutely crushed... I can't stop thinking about the beautiful Nicolette Joyce...<br />
I keep getting twisting waves of warm and cold sensations running through my heart ever since I heard the horrible news this past Saturday afternoon. I keep thinking this can't be true, this can't be true...I can't help my eyes from tearing up every time I think of her. She was too young for this to happen...ahead of her time...and a beauty from out of this world...I feel that everyone who knew her is in total shock.<br />
<br />
I learned earlier tonight that she had this to say only 9 days ago, a week before we lost her:<br />
<br />
"Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to loose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart."<br />
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It's as if she knew...<br />
<br />
In trying to make sense of the pain of loosing Nicolette, I sought solace from my friend Gardner Cole. Last night he told me that as he gets older he's gotten more acquainted to the nature of loosing people and discovered some interesting revelations about the process of life and death. He explained that he's noticed people seem to know when they are going to die, subconsciously; without a doubt we just know. He gave me plenty of personal instances which backed up these findings as well. Reading her quote tonight just verified his words. He also shared that sometimes a person will choose to be an example to the group surrounding them, a sacrifice if you will, in order to help those around them to make better choices. A possible wake-up call and realization of our own existence. Strange thing is, learning about Nicolette more and more lately, I feel that she is the type of person that would stand up and say she'll do it, she'll be the brave soul to shake up her community and loved ones around her, so that we might remember to live whole heartily--to not take this precious life and the people surrounding it for granted. That LIFE is short, LIVE and LOVE it up!!! <br />
<br />
She definitely livened my senses, my awareness of the sacredness of our existence...suddenly, as if my vision became clearer, everyone in my life has become even more special to me. I want to spend time with everyone I hold dear and look at them long in their eyes. She has inspired me to do something more with my life, to live it up and quit my boring dead end job. Nicolette Joyce has made me think about the legacy I will someday leave for the people around me to ponder. I want to make sure my time was well spent in this realm, because it's true, we could be gone without a moments notice. <br />
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Thank you for waking us up Nico...we love you...you will always be with us sweetheart... <br />
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<a href="http://nicolettejoycefund.tumblr.com/">http://nicolettejoycefund.tumblr.com/</a></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06320870414381986661noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-809014821164419610.post-54668025286192963752011-06-10T01:18:00.000-07:002011-10-18T04:42:16.429-07:00fun with filters<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-UFqciFCynhw/TfHSvGbZvvI/AAAAAAAAAFM/BxqwfwYDkMc/s1600/side+by+side.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-UFqciFCynhw/TfHSvGbZvvI/AAAAAAAAAFM/BxqwfwYDkMc/s320/side+by+side.jpg" width="213" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-lS3VGqmy6FU/TfHSy3yUiPI/AAAAAAAAAFQ/fwWdrPbbS4M/s1600/strange.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-lS3VGqmy6FU/TfHSy3yUiPI/AAAAAAAAAFQ/fwWdrPbbS4M/s320/strange.jpg" width="225" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-1urKoV-Qs0s/TfHS3aARN_I/AAAAAAAAAFU/Y0tKWgiVksw/s1600/twin+face.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-1urKoV-Qs0s/TfHS3aARN_I/AAAAAAAAAFU/Y0tKWgiVksw/s320/twin+face.jpg" width="213" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-RYs0J0cpYuo/TfHS7Xod1DI/AAAAAAAAAFY/mq36_RqIaWs/s1600/twisted.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-RYs0J0cpYuo/TfHS7Xod1DI/AAAAAAAAAFY/mq36_RqIaWs/s320/twisted.jpg" width="213" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-6nyWkngAQJY/TfHTKbYAyII/AAAAAAAAAFc/cX6P80WmSgI/s1600/shadow.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-6nyWkngAQJY/TfHTKbYAyII/AAAAAAAAAFc/cX6P80WmSgI/s320/shadow.jpg" width="213" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06320870414381986661noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-809014821164419610.post-14518152503530362892011-05-24T23:10:00.000-07:002011-06-10T01:28:23.067-07:00Why I Want to Start WritingI want to challenge myself again but this time as a professional writer. I realize I have a lot to say and express. This sudden self-revelation came to me during a recent submission to be a writer for a local magazine and there's an interesting story of how it all occurred. I was telling my girlfriend Veronica that I was in the process of looking for a job since graduating this past December and was working on conjuring up a satisfying plan for myself. Strangely, later that night she emailed me a newspaper clipping of a wanted ad for a club editor. She said someone handed the cutout to her husband Phillip earlier that day at work--mind you, a guy that has never talked to him in all the years they've worked together. He urged Phillip to give it to one of his friends because it would be a total dream job. Luckily, Phillip thought of me when Veronica explained she wanted to help locate a career for me. Once I saw the job description I concurred that it would be the best job for me to transition into from cosmetic management. Also, to my surprise, I had many positive affirmations from every single person I spoke to about my application--everyone seemed to agree that I would be perfect for the position! <br />
<br />
After some serious thought, I questioned if I could actually write for a living and enjoy it full-time, using the tools I have acquired from school in a creative yet structured way. I then thought about all the teachers who trained me to write, the ones who encouraged and also criticized. A pain-staking, life-consuming 17 + years of training to be exact. Almost 2 decades of technical writing with grammar execution and development of "voice" with expression of deep thought. In my last full-time semester at the Hugh Downs School of Interpersonal Communications at ASU, I spent hours upon hours writing 20-50 page reports on multiple subjects for several classes in order to finish my Bachelor's of Arts degree. It consumed my entire life while also working a full-time job in the meantime.<br />
<br />
So I ask myself why I would put myself through any kind of forced writing ever again?<br />
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I feel this time will be different, this time I can actually be heard and get paid for the process. There's a good chance I may not have the qualifications, clout, and expertise for this position, but thinking about the possibility has definitely inspired me to start building a writing portfolio. All I can do is try and work on moving ahead, focusing on carving a desired life path for myself.<br />
<br />
"<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">It is the function of art to renew our perception. What we are familiar with we cease to see. The writer shakes up the familiar scene, and, as if by magic, we see a new meaning in it."</span><br />
<span class="bodybold" style="color: white; font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 10pt; font-weight: bold;"><a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/a/anaisnin163753.html" style="line-height: normal; text-decoration: none;">Anais Nin</a></span><br />
<div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><b><br />
</b></span>Read more<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #eeeeee;">:</span><a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/writer.html#ixzz1NLjCUQGt" style="line-height: normal; text-decoration: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white;">http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/writer.html#ixzz1NLjCUQGt</span></a></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06320870414381986661noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-809014821164419610.post-61615738227863213632011-03-12T05:12:00.000-08:002011-11-21T22:57:55.393-08:00Tonight's DreamWow...Where do I begin? A dream has no beginning or end.<br />
<br />
I never remember my dreams, not in their entirety like this usually. Not where I'm compelled to sit down and write about it on facebook or a blog for that matter! Wow, so where do I begin?<br />
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In the first part of the dream I was busy being chased by mall security and crazy government agents for a long time for some reason--that part is already starting to fade now since it's 5am and I had the start of the dream about 5 hours ago. Somewhere along the line while on the run I was in a train, the type of train where you can pass from car to car. I noticed as I peered into the next car ahead I could see hands fogging up the glass door. I was somewhat frightened because I automatically felt the people in the car ahead were in distress, many of them. I explained to the people that I was with that I didn't really want to travel any further. Suddenly, a person from the crowd ahead came over to me in a panic! He automatically scared me because his face looked as if it was rotting from the beginning stages of radiation poison. He said he had been hiding along with all those other people for about a day but that he knew where his car was and where "they" were hiding all the keys. I am confused about this part but feel that it has relation to the beginning of my dream. Anyway, more of these people/zombies started approaching me...they were full of anxiety and pain, lost, and without hope.<br />
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Somehow, I was able to see a passage of light, literally and figuratively amongst the situation I was in. We didn't seem to be moving at this point at all. I remember wanting to just walk up to the sunlight because I knew it would be comforting to me... I then began to feel very brave at that point. I had a feeling that all these people who felt half alive and half dead would also feel some ease if they just felt a little of this light as well. The first person that I asked to walk with me was the guy that originally walked up to me in a panic. I asked him to simply lay down in the sunlight, thankfully he trusted every word I said. His badly disfigured body then began to fade into thin air as he soaked in all the light. I was talking to him and told him everything would be okay in the process, that he would be fine. At this point I began to feel a sense of joy and even more confidence. I told him I loved him just as his lips were the last thing to go, fading as he mouthed the words that he loved me back. An older lady then approached me who was a little nervous but I assured her that she too had nothing to worry about. I had her lay down into the sunlight as well and she began to quickly fade in the same way. She then appeared to me right after but as a totally brand new version of herself, this time glowing and with a huge smile. She showed me that she could morph her face anyway that she wanted but chose the one that she was most use to. She then gave me a quick vision that had a great impact for me to see on a personal level. She shared, in images, that I was her little Native American warrior. She drew out a cartoon version of me as a girl, a simple white lined drawing with a tall feather sticking up out the back of my head and two tiny fangs sticking out of my mouth. I thought it was endearing that she saw me as her new found hero and thought so highly of me; I felt blessed by her gratitude.<br />
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I continued the desire to want to help others and then immediately noticed two babies that were sitting side by side. They were definitely the scariest out of all the souls that I was dealing with. They seemed even younger than toddlers but were talking as if they had been around for many years. I was able to pick them both up with my hands at the same time because they were so lightweight due to hardly having any flesh on their bones. As they both laid in my palms they began to feel uncomfortable about the situation ahead. Part of them wanted to go back into the shadows where they were most comfortable (just like everyone else) and were excessively whining about coming with me. I assured them they would be better off even though I continued to feel them shuffling around and kicking as I was handing them over to the light. Then, they too began to fade as soon as I sat them in the light, transforming into beautifully bright apparitions that smiled back at me. I believe this continued to happen a few more times with other souls as the dream went on and until I woke up, but the most I memorable part of this dream was the middle, where everything I just shared took place.<br />
Upon waking from this dream, I can't help but realize the amazing metaphors and visual analogies discovered within what I just experienced. Some would probably equate what I endured as a nightmare, but as I see it, through it all there was so much beauty and love that transitioned anything dark into light towards the end.<br />
I'm looking forward to experiencing the actual real sunlight once it begins to emerge in the next hour or so...<br />
<br />
This dream reminded me of a quote that I fell in love with along time ago that goes something like this: "Love is the beauty that smashes the darkness..."<br />
<br />
I still can't believe I am up this hour.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06320870414381986661noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-809014821164419610.post-6278942834836123682010-11-24T19:03:00.000-08:002010-11-27T01:13:52.239-08:00"Saving Tania's Privates"<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_7-KEogKazIo/TPDLm8cTddI/AAAAAAAAABI/SmHFyh9CIYU/s1600/model%2Bnurses.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_7-KEogKazIo/TPDLm8cTddI/AAAAAAAAABI/SmHFyh9CIYU/s320/model%2Bnurses.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5544155011213391314" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_7-KEogKazIo/TO3Uz75cagI/AAAAAAAAAA4/6GRzFPYBl6c/s1600/java.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 194px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_7-KEogKazIo/TO3Uz75cagI/AAAAAAAAAA4/6GRzFPYBl6c/s320/java.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5543320705079994882" /></a><br /><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:normal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Times New Roman","serif"">I first met Tania Katan about two months ago on set for her September Java magazine article.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I was scouted to model for the project and was informed it would help promote Tania’s upcoming performance, “Saving Tania’s Privates” which shares her personal life struggles of battling breast cancer.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Based on the topic of the assignment, I was more than willing to help advertise her show with any skills I could provide.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I posed along with a group of darling girls that I had never met before.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>We were all dressed as sexy nurses and positioned above Tania as she lay on a stretcher with two large vegan cupcakes taking the place of her breasts.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The photo team asked me to “play” the lead nurse in the photo shoot due to previous modeling experience.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>So, with an intense gaze into the camera, I held an oversized, cartoon-like syringe into Tania’s simulated cupcake breasts. <span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:normal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Times New Roman","serif"">On Friday October, 8<sup>th</sup> I finally got to see “Saving Tania’s Privates”.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>After the performance I felt as though I wanted to share how Tania’s life story impacted me.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>First off, I have to say that Tania is so incredibly brave; everything she went through struck a deep cord within me. I felt as if I lived every experience along with her as she shared her powerful life events with the audience.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Tania is an excellent performer and extremely talented.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>As a performer myself, I paid close attention to the details of how Tania conducted her facial expressions and the ways she communicated the dynamics of her voice.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Her tone of voice was loud during some dramatic scenes and softer during others but always maintained clarity.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Tania’s body movements helped express her story even further and really made use of the intimate space within the theater.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I learned a lot about her performance abilities by observing her confidence on the stage floor and how she interacted with the audience surrounding her.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:normal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Times New Roman","serif"">I am honestly so proud of Tania Katan for being able to share her struggles of enduring breast cancer on two separate occasions at such a young age. I was impressed with how Tania controlled the emotions of her audience as well. There were so many moments in which I felt as though I wanted to cry for her because I sympathized with everything she had to go through.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>But <span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>just as I was gathering a huge lump in my throat and water in my eyes she quickly threw on a humorous face along with some silly sarcasm to make me laugh.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Tania also gave an amusing twist throughout her performance by making some excellent impressions of her friends and family members.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Each character had a unique voice and body movement which helped suspend each person separately from one another.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>It was fascinating observing how each character expressed their emotions during the many trials in which Tania faced and how she portrayed herself simultaneously along with them.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The fact that she could jump from sad to happy moments and the ways in which she switched personalities of family members, to girlfriends and then back to herself is where she truly excelled in her presentation. <span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Tania kept me fully engaged in her production about her life’s events and left me with an immense feeling of inspiration.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I gained motivation for action by learning about Tania’s incredible narrative of self perseverance and found insight as a performer by watching her many talents as an artist.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:normal"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;font-family:"Times New Roman","serif""></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; ">It is hard to ever imagine being confronted with cancer, death, severed body parts, and chemo therapy.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>But the fact that Tania had to continually battle these things on an incessant basis throughout her life makes her very courageous in my eyes.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>She shared how she loved being alive and that she was good at it! Being the champion runner that she is, you could truly see and hear this as being true based upon her joyful spirit!<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>She has been blessed with so much strength and support from so many loved ones around her, and as a result she was able to get through it all!<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I am honored and grateful to have had the opportunity to meet and work with Tania Katan and will forever remember her incredible story.</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:200%"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; "><br /></span></p>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06320870414381986661noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-809014821164419610.post-84340549784042831042010-04-29T12:50:00.000-07:002010-04-29T12:52:07.388-07:00Shower Thoughts:<br /><br /><br />"Don't act wise, be."<br /><br /><br /><br />"Unconditional love is made to be tested."Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06320870414381986661noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-809014821164419610.post-37626510325565687852010-04-20T00:17:00.000-07:002010-11-30T22:08:13.055-08:00D. Frank Designs Furniture Fashion Show - IntroI was the first to come out of the elevator for this furniture fashion show and wow was I totally nervous waiting behind the doors just before! It sounded like hundreds of people just on the other side! There was no practice run--was just told to "look sexy" on designer furniture. I turned around and saw all my girlfriends smiling at me as they sat on their fancy furniture waiting for me to take my turn. Suddenly the elevator bell rang and the doors opened! Something came over me and my anxiety switched into a wild rush of excitement! I felt like I had my very own stage for a few brief moments and was free to get a little crazy! I wanted to entertain the audience but only had a few seconds to come up with something fun. Thank god that champagne we were drinking backstage finally kicked in! And okay, I admit it... it was pretty fun being swung around in a luggage carrier by two cute bellhops! When I jumped off the chair I saw the flashing lights of many camera men waiting for me to come closer, so I just tried to have fun with it and dance it up a bit! Funny thing is towards the end I was wishing I could have stayed out there a little longer and danced more! Whoever was filming this missed the part of me bouncing on the chair as I was exited bouncing up and down!!! Natalia came out next and then the rest of the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Scandalesque</span> girls followed. Wish I had more footage of the other girls and my seco<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">nd</span> performance...can I even call it a performance? I hired Andy Hartmark to film the entire show with professional cams, not sure what ever happened--maybe one of these days we'll see the full version :)<br /><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">D Frank Furniture Designs, Fashion by Desiato, MUA: Sina Urias,<br />@Scottsdale Museum of Contemporary Arts</span> (SMOCA)<br /><object style="background-image: url("http://i2.ytimg.com/vi/UEQgzMdKoYA/hqdefault.jpg");" height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/UEQgzMdKoYA&hl=en_US&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/UEQgzMdKoYA&hl=en_US&fs=1" allowscriptaccess="never" allowfullscreen="true" wmode="transparent" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" height="344" width="425"></embed></object>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06320870414381986661noreply@blogger.com0