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| This felt good to create....Sometimes words can never describe how you're truly feeling inside. |
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Ghost of my heart...
Monday, November 21, 2011
I've been working on a new series of what I imagine as "love strings" or soul ties that one might still have connected to a former or current lover. I found this really cool picture of a carte-de-visite portrait of a young girl standing by a balustrade holding a hat. Photographed by "Merrick" at Joseph Langridge's photographic studio, 33 Western Road, Brighton (c1864). I added transparent jelly fish tentacles to portray what I envision as these elusive heart strings.... this is a concept photo that will help me in my drawings that are soon to come.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
H e a l i n g
I decided to get some spiritual insight of my father who passed a decade ago and to also figure out how cut any strings that are making me still attached to an ex. Wow, I am so glad I did, I woke up yesterday feeling like a million bucks, like a whole new beginning encompassed a fresh perspective on my life.
I always pass Vision Quest Metaphysical Bookstore on Scottsdale road to a fro work and always wondered about stopping inside to get a "reading". Lately I've been a little depressed about a lack of peace from a few people in my life and was feeling like I needed to get some clarity on everything and help heal any lingering pain. I've been thinking I needed to do a little more work on my part to really mend myself and get some inner peace.
I was a few minutes early for my appointment, and noticed a blonde lady with a warm demeanor similar to Paula D (the Southern TV chef) sitting at a little table towards the back of the building. Carolyn the Clairvoyant welcomed me to have seat. I noticed a lot of little rocks of many different colors in front of me, along with a deck of tarot cards and a small pumpkin jack o'lantern in a snow globe. She was extremely sweet from the start, she asked about my name and complimented me on the uniqueness of it. Then explained all the steps of her half an hour session with me.
We first started with Reiki, she put my hands in hers for a few moments and then looked up at me. She seemed a bit astonished and told me that any positive energy she was giving me was coming right back to her. She said that I was a "Lightworker", that I am a natural healer, and if I ever thought about doing Reiki that I should definitely do so. She explained that God is waking up all the Lightworkers at this present time because the planet needs a lot of healing, and that it's important to use our gifts that have been given to us in order to not have any "blocks" in our life. It started to all make sense to me, why I've been having these dreams about dead or disheveled people coming to me asking me to help them. I always tell them to "lay down in the light" and they immediately turn to light themselves, smile and then disappear.
Carolyn then read my aura. She told me the first color that she saw was a white light surrounding me, meaning that my spirit was of pure light. Then she said she saw gold meaning that I'm emerging into my spiritual gifts and fruition. The last color that she saw was green, meaning that I have a tremendous amount love for nature and that I'm going to be very prosperous, that I will never have to worry about not having enough money. Haha well that was a bit of a relief to hear I thought.
She then said she wanted to balance out my chakras and had me hold two different rocks, one in front of my belly and another in front of my heart. She explained if all your 7 chakras are in alignment you will be able to see your path clearer in front of you and you'll know where you're going. She said to eat berries, nuts and decaffeinated tea and told me that it was really important to walk barefoot on the ground because that brings about continuous grounding for your entire being.
I told her I had a soul tie with someone that I'd like to break, that it was making me very depressed because all I want is peace with him and to just be friends. Carolyn then told me how to break a soul tie, she told me about the visualization technique and walked me through it. You first start out by imagining that person in front of you with strings connected to each other's hearts. Then you say everything you want to say to that person and then visualize cutting the strings that bind you. Wish them well by saying "God bless you" or "peace be with you" and then see yourself turning around and walking away from them. I did this exercise the night before last, and as I said, I woke up feeling refreshed and like new yesterday--so I think it really did work!
She then had me shuffle the cards, and then explained what they said. What she told me was exactly what I needed to hear, I couldn't believe how everything was so right on. Once you loose a parent or a close friend, sometimes seeking spiritual advice is the only thing that can give you some true solace. Sure you feel extremely vulnerable and awkward sharing yourself in this manner, but the reward of braving yourself to do so is totally worth it. It was as if the universe talked to me for a few moments and shared with me everything going on within and around me. I would share more of what they had to say but it's probably better that I keep the information to myself, I figured if what Carolyn said was right, I would see it unfold in the future.
Our time was up, but she continued to want work with me. I asked about my dad, if he was anywhere near. She pulled out a few cards and said that all my spiritual gifts came from him. That he will visit me in my dreams in the next three months (which he has already done in the past). That he loves me very very much (a given). She also shared that he has never really left me and that he is one of my spiritual guides and is always looking out for me. That was all very comforting, but I kind of had a feeling of all that already, regardless it was nice to be told these things.
Carolyn ended by writing the words "I am" on her business card. She said that when people meditate by saying "Om" that it means God, but so does the phrase "I am". So she said to meditate on whatever I wanted to be and say "I am" in the beginning of it, if you add "now" at the end of the phrase it makes it more immediate. I definitely believe in positive affirmations, I think they can really strengthen your spirit.
I am so glad I went to visit Carolyn, the overall experience was amazing and really helped me in so many ways. I recommend her if you feel like you could use some guidance and some inner peace. As I said, after our visit, the night before last, I woke up yesterday feeling totally renewed. I will definitely go back to see her in the future. In the meantime, I'll be looking into practicing some Reiki and speaking some positive "I ams". Looking forward to some awesome new beginnings!
I always pass Vision Quest Metaphysical Bookstore on Scottsdale road to a fro work and always wondered about stopping inside to get a "reading". Lately I've been a little depressed about a lack of peace from a few people in my life and was feeling like I needed to get some clarity on everything and help heal any lingering pain. I've been thinking I needed to do a little more work on my part to really mend myself and get some inner peace.
I was a few minutes early for my appointment, and noticed a blonde lady with a warm demeanor similar to Paula D (the Southern TV chef) sitting at a little table towards the back of the building. Carolyn the Clairvoyant welcomed me to have seat. I noticed a lot of little rocks of many different colors in front of me, along with a deck of tarot cards and a small pumpkin jack o'lantern in a snow globe. She was extremely sweet from the start, she asked about my name and complimented me on the uniqueness of it. Then explained all the steps of her half an hour session with me.
We first started with Reiki, she put my hands in hers for a few moments and then looked up at me. She seemed a bit astonished and told me that any positive energy she was giving me was coming right back to her. She said that I was a "Lightworker", that I am a natural healer, and if I ever thought about doing Reiki that I should definitely do so. She explained that God is waking up all the Lightworkers at this present time because the planet needs a lot of healing, and that it's important to use our gifts that have been given to us in order to not have any "blocks" in our life. It started to all make sense to me, why I've been having these dreams about dead or disheveled people coming to me asking me to help them. I always tell them to "lay down in the light" and they immediately turn to light themselves, smile and then disappear.
Carolyn then read my aura. She told me the first color that she saw was a white light surrounding me, meaning that my spirit was of pure light. Then she said she saw gold meaning that I'm emerging into my spiritual gifts and fruition. The last color that she saw was green, meaning that I have a tremendous amount love for nature and that I'm going to be very prosperous, that I will never have to worry about not having enough money. Haha well that was a bit of a relief to hear I thought.
She then said she wanted to balance out my chakras and had me hold two different rocks, one in front of my belly and another in front of my heart. She explained if all your 7 chakras are in alignment you will be able to see your path clearer in front of you and you'll know where you're going. She said to eat berries, nuts and decaffeinated tea and told me that it was really important to walk barefoot on the ground because that brings about continuous grounding for your entire being.
I told her I had a soul tie with someone that I'd like to break, that it was making me very depressed because all I want is peace with him and to just be friends. Carolyn then told me how to break a soul tie, she told me about the visualization technique and walked me through it. You first start out by imagining that person in front of you with strings connected to each other's hearts. Then you say everything you want to say to that person and then visualize cutting the strings that bind you. Wish them well by saying "God bless you" or "peace be with you" and then see yourself turning around and walking away from them. I did this exercise the night before last, and as I said, I woke up feeling refreshed and like new yesterday--so I think it really did work!
She then had me shuffle the cards, and then explained what they said. What she told me was exactly what I needed to hear, I couldn't believe how everything was so right on. Once you loose a parent or a close friend, sometimes seeking spiritual advice is the only thing that can give you some true solace. Sure you feel extremely vulnerable and awkward sharing yourself in this manner, but the reward of braving yourself to do so is totally worth it. It was as if the universe talked to me for a few moments and shared with me everything going on within and around me. I would share more of what they had to say but it's probably better that I keep the information to myself, I figured if what Carolyn said was right, I would see it unfold in the future.
Our time was up, but she continued to want work with me. I asked about my dad, if he was anywhere near. She pulled out a few cards and said that all my spiritual gifts came from him. That he will visit me in my dreams in the next three months (which he has already done in the past). That he loves me very very much (a given). She also shared that he has never really left me and that he is one of my spiritual guides and is always looking out for me. That was all very comforting, but I kind of had a feeling of all that already, regardless it was nice to be told these things.
Carolyn ended by writing the words "I am" on her business card. She said that when people meditate by saying "Om" that it means God, but so does the phrase "I am". So she said to meditate on whatever I wanted to be and say "I am" in the beginning of it, if you add "now" at the end of the phrase it makes it more immediate. I definitely believe in positive affirmations, I think they can really strengthen your spirit.
I am so glad I went to visit Carolyn, the overall experience was amazing and really helped me in so many ways. I recommend her if you feel like you could use some guidance and some inner peace. As I said, after our visit, the night before last, I woke up yesterday feeling totally renewed. I will definitely go back to see her in the future. In the meantime, I'll be looking into practicing some Reiki and speaking some positive "I ams". Looking forward to some awesome new beginnings!
Sunday, November 6, 2011
l o v e
I'm not afraid to express it. To carry it on my shoulders.
When leaving this plane, I know that I've done everything I could in order to attempt to make peace in every situation where I might have caused pain or discomfort. I am a peacemaker, that's who I am.
When leaving this plane, I know that I've done everything I could in order to attempt to make peace in every situation where I might have caused pain or discomfort. I am a peacemaker, that's who I am.
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
crushed
I feel absolutely crushed... I can't stop thinking about the beautiful Nicolette Joyce...
I keep getting twisting waves of warm and cold sensations running through my heart ever since I heard the horrible news this past Saturday afternoon. I keep thinking this can't be true, this can't be true...I can't help my eyes from tearing up every time I think of her. She was too young for this to happen...ahead of her time...and a beauty from out of this world...I feel that everyone who knew her is in total shock.
I learned earlier tonight that she had this to say only 9 days ago, a week before we lost her:
"Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to loose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart."
It's as if she knew...
In trying to make sense of the pain of loosing Nicolette, I sought solace from my friend Gardner Cole. Last night he told me that as he gets older he's gotten more acquainted to the nature of loosing people and discovered some interesting revelations about the process of life and death. He explained that he's noticed people seem to know when they are going to die, subconsciously; without a doubt we just know. He gave me plenty of personal instances which backed up these findings as well. Reading her quote tonight just verified his words. He also shared that sometimes a person will choose to be an example to the group surrounding them, a sacrifice if you will, in order to help those around them to make better choices. A possible wake-up call and realization of our own existence. Strange thing is, learning about Nicolette more and more lately, I feel that she is the type of person that would stand up and say she'll do it, she'll be the brave soul to shake up her community and loved ones around her, so that we might remember to live whole heartily--to not take this precious life and the people surrounding it for granted. That LIFE is short, LIVE and LOVE it up!!!
She definitely livened my senses, my awareness of the sacredness of our existence...suddenly, as if my vision became clearer, everyone in my life has become even more special to me. I want to spend time with everyone I hold dear and look at them long in their eyes. She has inspired me to do something more with my life, to live it up and quit my boring dead end job. Nicolette Joyce has made me think about the legacy I will someday leave for the people around me to ponder. I want to make sure my time was well spent in this realm, because it's true, we could be gone without a moments notice.
Thank you for waking us up Nico...we love you...you will always be with us sweetheart...
I keep getting twisting waves of warm and cold sensations running through my heart ever since I heard the horrible news this past Saturday afternoon. I keep thinking this can't be true, this can't be true...I can't help my eyes from tearing up every time I think of her. She was too young for this to happen...ahead of her time...and a beauty from out of this world...I feel that everyone who knew her is in total shock.
I learned earlier tonight that she had this to say only 9 days ago, a week before we lost her:
"Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to loose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart."
It's as if she knew...
In trying to make sense of the pain of loosing Nicolette, I sought solace from my friend Gardner Cole. Last night he told me that as he gets older he's gotten more acquainted to the nature of loosing people and discovered some interesting revelations about the process of life and death. He explained that he's noticed people seem to know when they are going to die, subconsciously; without a doubt we just know. He gave me plenty of personal instances which backed up these findings as well. Reading her quote tonight just verified his words. He also shared that sometimes a person will choose to be an example to the group surrounding them, a sacrifice if you will, in order to help those around them to make better choices. A possible wake-up call and realization of our own existence. Strange thing is, learning about Nicolette more and more lately, I feel that she is the type of person that would stand up and say she'll do it, she'll be the brave soul to shake up her community and loved ones around her, so that we might remember to live whole heartily--to not take this precious life and the people surrounding it for granted. That LIFE is short, LIVE and LOVE it up!!!
She definitely livened my senses, my awareness of the sacredness of our existence...suddenly, as if my vision became clearer, everyone in my life has become even more special to me. I want to spend time with everyone I hold dear and look at them long in their eyes. She has inspired me to do something more with my life, to live it up and quit my boring dead end job. Nicolette Joyce has made me think about the legacy I will someday leave for the people around me to ponder. I want to make sure my time was well spent in this realm, because it's true, we could be gone without a moments notice.
Thank you for waking us up Nico...we love you...you will always be with us sweetheart...
Friday, June 10, 2011
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Why I Want to Start Writing
I want to challenge myself again but this time as a professional writer. I realize I have a lot to say and express. This sudden self-revelation came to me during a recent submission to be a writer for a local magazine and there's an interesting story of how it all occurred. I was telling my girlfriend Veronica that I was in the process of looking for a job since graduating this past December and was working on conjuring up a satisfying plan for myself. Strangely, later that night she emailed me a newspaper clipping of a wanted ad for a club editor. She said someone handed the cutout to her husband Phillip earlier that day at work--mind you, a guy that has never talked to him in all the years they've worked together. He urged Phillip to give it to one of his friends because it would be a total dream job. Luckily, Phillip thought of me when Veronica explained she wanted to help locate a career for me. Once I saw the job description I concurred that it would be the best job for me to transition into from cosmetic management. Also, to my surprise, I had many positive affirmations from every single person I spoke to about my application--everyone seemed to agree that I would be perfect for the position!
After some serious thought, I questioned if I could actually write for a living and enjoy it full-time, using the tools I have acquired from school in a creative yet structured way. I then thought about all the teachers who trained me to write, the ones who encouraged and also criticized. A pain-staking, life-consuming 17 + years of training to be exact. Almost 2 decades of technical writing with grammar execution and development of "voice" with expression of deep thought. In my last full-time semester at the Hugh Downs School of Interpersonal Communications at ASU, I spent hours upon hours writing 20-50 page reports on multiple subjects for several classes in order to finish my Bachelor's of Arts degree. It consumed my entire life while also working a full-time job in the meantime.
So I ask myself why I would put myself through any kind of forced writing ever again?
I feel this time will be different, this time I can actually be heard and get paid for the process. There's a good chance I may not have the qualifications, clout, and expertise for this position, but thinking about the possibility has definitely inspired me to start building a writing portfolio. All I can do is try and work on moving ahead, focusing on carving a desired life path for myself.
"It is the function of art to renew our perception. What we are familiar with we cease to see. The writer shakes up the familiar scene, and, as if by magic, we see a new meaning in it."
Anais Nin
After some serious thought, I questioned if I could actually write for a living and enjoy it full-time, using the tools I have acquired from school in a creative yet structured way. I then thought about all the teachers who trained me to write, the ones who encouraged and also criticized. A pain-staking, life-consuming 17 + years of training to be exact. Almost 2 decades of technical writing with grammar execution and development of "voice" with expression of deep thought. In my last full-time semester at the Hugh Downs School of Interpersonal Communications at ASU, I spent hours upon hours writing 20-50 page reports on multiple subjects for several classes in order to finish my Bachelor's of Arts degree. It consumed my entire life while also working a full-time job in the meantime.
So I ask myself why I would put myself through any kind of forced writing ever again?
I feel this time will be different, this time I can actually be heard and get paid for the process. There's a good chance I may not have the qualifications, clout, and expertise for this position, but thinking about the possibility has definitely inspired me to start building a writing portfolio. All I can do is try and work on moving ahead, focusing on carving a desired life path for myself.
"It is the function of art to renew our perception. What we are familiar with we cease to see. The writer shakes up the familiar scene, and, as if by magic, we see a new meaning in it."
Anais Nin
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