What's it all Mean?

Once, at the age of 12, I yelled with all my might out to the Universe, demanding to know who this God was that I had been praying to my whole child life and questioned if "he" really existed. Right before I fell asleep, I fiercely asked out loud..."SHOW ME WHO YOU ARE, I want to see you, show me your face, who are you and why am I praying to you?!" Then that night I had a dream, one that I vividly remember till this day. It almost feels like an actual memory that strangely all came back to me years later after it had happened.

In this so-called dream a beautiful being of pure white light graced me with it's presence. I couldn't remember seeing a detailed face only the gleaming light of decadent white energy in the form of a human body. We walked into what was my backyard at the time and then shot straight up into the night air like a lightening-fast bullet! I then began to softly float like a feather into what looked like a crystal city of lights; I felt so comfortable there--even more so than any home I have ever had here on Earth. I was then brought to a panel of a few other light people who I stood before. They were sitting perfectly spaced apart from one another, again there were no distinct faces just that fine gleaming light.  They gave me some very important information telepathically but I can't exactly remember what they said or really what happened next. I only recall my descend back again into my 12 year old world.  My traveling glow-friend and I went back the same way we came, shooting straight down just as quickly as we had gone up.  I am sure we departed sweetly from each other too but everything seems like such a blur at that point.  The last thing that flashes to mind was when I woke up from the dream after only a few hours of being asleep... those moments felt like pure joy and ecstasy because I was consciously awake and still high from the heavenly experience I had just encountered. My throat even felt scratchy from all the salt water I had been swallowing due to the buckets of tears pouring out of my eyes and into my mouth and nose. I laid there streaming these joyful tears for what seemed like hours. Even my pillow was drenched on both sides where my cheeks laid and I couldn't stop smiling--felt like the widest smile I had ever made in this life!

So did I get to meet "God" in another dimension or did I just have one wild sleep time? I am not 100 percent sure. However, over the years I have heard of similar occurrences but only in instances of near death. I have read quite a few books and articles on the subjects of Near Death Experiences (NDE's) and "lives in between lives" in search of some answers. Many of the testimonies share similar meetings with these faceless light folks who comforted them after bad car wrecks or were standing along side their hospital bed as soon as they flat-lined and "crossed-over".  I would love to know if there are any others out there who have ever experienced something similar to my situation.  Debating being hypnotized and brought back to that moment of when I met with those entities to find out what they might have told me.

Our bodies are not our own...only borrowed, respect them.

WE LOVE YOU GIRARD DEMURO!!!

To my dearest Girard DeMuro...

I'm not sure if you ever really knew how much you were loved, but I truly hope you can feel it now.  You've left a huge gaping hole in everyone's heart that knew you...feelings of overwhelming sorrow, guilt, confusion, and frustration fill our minds. Wishing you had just reached out...we would have been there to grab your hand, ALL of us!  You were/are one of the most talented, funniest, down-to-earth souls I have ever met..."The Alexander McQueen of Hair".  Me and you had so much unfinished business left to do, as I'm sure so many are feeling. You were adamant about being my personal stylist when CityDive finally took off...we dreamed about traveling to distant places together, how I would take you with me wherever I went. I wanted that so bad, and you gave me the exact support I needed.  You believed in me so much, more than anyone.  I felt that whenever we saw each other.  

I remember when we first met about 12 years ago, during the Be.Headed/Paisley Violin days, back when it was on Roosevelt. I was working at Paisley as a barista at the time, about the age of 19 or 20.  You had just thought of the Be.Headed salon concept and were so excited to create your business next store.  I was so proud of you, watching you grow your company and seeing it flourish over the years. I'll never forget when you helped throw my 21st birthday at Paisely as the DJ, what an eventful evening that was haha!  You were such an awesome DJ and musician too, talent just oozed out of you!  Was looking forward to playing that zombie along with all the other girls for your video. Me and Fuchsia were talking about getting everyone together to still create it in honor of you, hope that would be ok.

The one thing that will always stick with me, was on set during the filming of "Heartbreak and Lullabies"....You said the kindest most genuine thing to me, you said "Tondra, I'm so very proud of you, I was watching you during your scene, and you are so talented!"  I'll never forget that Girard, it meant so much coming from you, especially because you've known me for so long and knew where I came from.  I could really feel that you were proud of me.  You gave me an extra boost of confidence for each scene of that film and made me feel like a beautiful star because of the fabulous job you did with my hair!  You, your sweet heart, your beautiful soul, and all your amazing work will be forever immortalized in all of us...We will never ever ever forget you Girard Demuro. We love and cherish everything that you are!!! Rest in peace my love, can't wait to see you again on the other side...

                                    Strolling around downtown Phoenix together

Documenting Girard doin me up for my last scene :)

Some of the hair Girard did for "Heartbreak and Lullabies"

Me and Fuschia Angel on set, photo by Girard

 Us during a CityDive episode!

Love you forever babe...

 We will be holding a candle light vigil and service of remembrance and respect to Girard this Friday at 8:30 pm at Cityscape in downtown Phoenix. Please bring a white candle.

Veronica my Muse!

One of my dearest friends Veronica and I used to get all dressed up and do wild things.  One time we decided to dress "colonial" (as she put it) with blond wigs and white corsets. I got inspired to take some photos of her... years later, like 10 to be exact, I finally edited them... I think they came out out pretty cool!  Love you V!

To my h e a r t, you know who you are:

"People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave. A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master.."

- Elizabeth Gilbert, page 149 from her book "Eat, Pray, Love".

Cool Herbs

As a vegetarian I try to find new ways to be as healthy as possible.  Maybe because I'm somewhat more aware of what I put into my body due to having to avoid meat over the past 9 years. Regardless, it's been an interesting road and a fun challenge being a veggie head.  I've also been researching a lot of "effective" herbs and ask a lot of my health-nut friends questions on looking younger and living longer.  Here are some of my latest findings:

Rhodiola Rosea:  I was told this herb works as a natural dopamine in your body, working to make you feel "happier" and helping you handle stress better.  It's also designed to help with mental clarity (God knows I could use that).  I was recommended to use Gaia brand, to find out more go to their link: Gaia Brand Rhodiola

Inca Maca Root:  I knew about this herb from a few years back but was reacquainted with it the past year.  I remember when I first started taking it was because I was searching for something that would help with stamina and energy levels.  I was quite surprised to also find that not only did it give me a ton of energy but it made me extremely "randy" yes, as in Austin Powers, it produces a super high libido!  It also balances hormonal levels, rebuilds week immune systems, and re-mineralizes poorly nourished bodies. I've been taking this brand Magic Maca which comes straight from the Andes Mountains in Peru.  The most important thing is that it's actual "Inca" Maca from what I'm told.  I'm looking into getting the herb from an herb shop to see if it's more cost effective.

Curcumin:  There's a lot folks around the world that eat a ton of curry in their meals, many of which reside in places like India and Thailand.  A lot of these cultures do not suffer with certain ailments like Alzheimer's, cancer,  arthritis, which are all highly prevalent diseases in the US.  The reason being is that these diseases are a product of inflamed cells in the body.  Turmeric is the main ingredient found in curry and is the responsible agent for helping calm inflammation and detoxifies the body.  Curcumin is a super condensed form of turmeric and helps with detoxifying your liver as well as any oxidative damage. You can pick up a bottle at any health food store.

Miso/Fermented Soy:  I asked what is one thing that will keep you really healthy and young.  Several health gurus said Fermented soy aka Miso.  They said the Japanese know all about sustaining their health through this supplement, that's why they have the famous Miso soup!  Just do a little research on it yourself and you'll see that it even has been counterbalancing radiation poisoning. You can buy fermented soy at almost any health food store or Whole Foods, Sunflower Market, Sprouts etc. I've been mixing it in a lot of dishes and it tastes great!

Sutherlandia Frutescens: Is a powerful blood purifier.  Sources say that it has the potential to totally alkaline the body, meaning that it will abliterate inflammation in the body including cancer and even HIV.  You want your body to live in a PH balanced alkaline state.  If your body is too acidic you will be more likely to harvest disease.  Sutherlandia is hard to order in the US because its a plant only harvested in South Africa.

Mucuna Pruriens: Is used in a lot of Ayurvedic Medicine. Helps with sexual function, hormonal balance, depression, and management of Parkinson's Disease. This herb contains L-DOPA, a precursor to the neurotransmitter dopamine. The L-DOPA content increases when extracts are prepared.  L-DOPA converts into dopamine, an important brain chemical involved in mood, sexuality, and movement.


PGX: Helps with digestion, balancing blood sugar levels and weightloss.  It's recommended to take ten minutes prior to eating sugary foods in order for the body to not store unnecessary fats and sugars.

Castor Oil Packs:  I first heard about this from Edgar Cayce.  If you're not sure who Edgar Cayce is, I suggest you look him up, he cured over ten-thousand people through his use of holistic health practices.  My friend recommended these packs for the tons of knots I have in my back, he says they will totally melt them out of my body, I'm excited to see if it actually works.  The process is slightly messy but for what it does and all the aliments that it has so far cured, it's definitely worth a try.  You can find out how to make a pack from the Cayce site.  I was able to purchase everything from Whole Foods, as far as the flannel and the castor oil.

Since I mentioned a lot of info on alkalizing the body for treatment of diseases like cancer, I think it's also important to know about Dr.Tullio Simoncini. He explains that cancer is basically a fungus in the body and is treatable through sodium bicarbonate aka baking soda. To learn more about this process go to  his site.