WE LOVE YOU GIRARD DEMURO!!!

To my dearest Girard DeMuro...

I'm not sure if you ever really knew how much you were loved, but I truly hope you can feel it now.  You've left a huge gaping hole in everyone's heart that knew you...feelings of overwhelming sorrow, guilt, confusion, and frustration fill our minds. Wishing you had just reached out...we would have been there to grab your hand, ALL of us!  You were/are one of the most talented, funniest, down-to-earth souls I have ever met..."The Alexander McQueen of Hair".  Me and you had so much unfinished business left to do, as I'm sure so many are feeling. You were adamant about being my personal stylist when CityDive finally took off...we dreamed about traveling to distant places together, how I would take you with me wherever I went. I wanted that so bad, and you gave me the exact support I needed.  You believed in me so much, more than anyone.  I felt that whenever we saw each other.  

I remember when we first met about 12 years ago, during the Be.Headed/Paisley Violin days, back when it was on Roosevelt. I was working at Paisley as a barista at the time, about the age of 19 or 20.  You had just thought of the Be.Headed salon concept and were so excited to create your business next store.  I was so proud of you, watching you grow your company and seeing it flourish over the years. I'll never forget when you helped throw my 21st birthday at Paisely as the DJ, what an eventful evening that was haha!  You were such an awesome DJ and musician too, talent just oozed out of you!  Was looking forward to playing that zombie along with all the other girls for your video. Me and Fuchsia were talking about getting everyone together to still create it in honor of you, hope that would be ok.

The one thing that will always stick with me, was on set during the filming of "Heartbreak and Lullabies"....You said the kindest most genuine thing to me, you said "Tondra, I'm so very proud of you, I was watching you during your scene, and you are so talented!"  I'll never forget that Girard, it meant so much coming from you, especially because you've known me for so long and knew where I came from.  I could really feel that you were proud of me.  You gave me an extra boost of confidence for each scene of that film and made me feel like a beautiful star because of the fabulous job you did with my hair!  You, your sweet heart, your beautiful soul, and all your amazing work will be forever immortalized in all of us...We will never ever ever forget you Girard Demuro. We love and cherish everything that you are!!! Rest in peace my love, can't wait to see you again on the other side...

                                    Strolling around downtown Phoenix together

Documenting Girard doin me up for my last scene :)

Some of the hair Girard did for "Heartbreak and Lullabies"

Me and Fuschia Angel on set, photo by Girard

 Us during a CityDive episode!

Love you forever babe...

 We will be holding a candle light vigil and service of remembrance and respect to Girard this Friday at 8:30 pm at Cityscape in downtown Phoenix. Please bring a white candle.

Veronica my Muse!

One of my dearest friends Veronica and I used to get all dressed up and do wild things.  One time we decided to dress "colonial" (as she put it) with blond wigs and white corsets. I got inspired to take some photos of her... years later, like 10 to be exact, I finally edited them... I think they came out out pretty cool!  Love you V!

To my h e a r t, you know who you are:

"People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave. A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master.."

- Elizabeth Gilbert, page 149 from her book "Eat, Pray, Love".

Cool Herbs

As a vegetarian I try to find new ways to be as healthy as possible.  Maybe because I'm somewhat more aware of what I put into my body due to having to avoid meat over the past 9 years. Regardless, it's been an interesting road and a fun challenge being a veggie head.  I've also been researching a lot of "effective" herbs and ask a lot of my health-nut friends questions on looking younger and living longer.  Here are some of my latest findings:

Rhodiola Rosea:  I was told this herb works as a natural dopamine in your body, working to make you feel "happier" and helping you handle stress better.  It's also designed to help with mental clarity (God knows I could use that).  I was recommended to use Gaia brand, to find out more go to their link: Gaia Brand Rhodiola

Inca Maca Root:  I knew about this herb from a few years back but was reacquainted with it the past year.  I remember when I first started taking it was because I was searching for something that would help with stamina and energy levels.  I was quite surprised to also find that not only did it give me a ton of energy but it made me extremely "randy" yes, as in Austin Powers, it produces a super high libido!  It also balances hormonal levels, rebuilds week immune systems, and re-mineralizes poorly nourished bodies. I've been taking this brand Magic Maca which comes straight from the Andes Mountains in Peru.  The most important thing is that it's actual "Inca" Maca from what I'm told.  I'm looking into getting the herb from an herb shop to see if it's more cost effective.

Curcumin:  There's a lot folks around the world that eat a ton of curry in their meals, many of which reside in places like India and Thailand.  A lot of these cultures do not suffer with certain ailments like Alzheimer's, cancer,  arthritis, which are all highly prevalent diseases in the US.  The reason being is that these diseases are a product of inflamed cells in the body.  Turmeric is the main ingredient found in curry and is the responsible agent for helping calm inflammation and detoxifies the body.  Curcumin is a super condensed form of turmeric and helps with detoxifying your liver as well as any oxidative damage. You can pick up a bottle at any health food store.

Miso/Fermented Soy:  I asked what is one thing that will keep you really healthy and young.  Several health gurus said Fermented soy aka Miso.  They said the Japanese know all about sustaining their health through this supplement, that's why they have the famous Miso soup!  Just do a little research on it yourself and you'll see that it even has been counterbalancing radiation poisoning. You can buy fermented soy at almost any health food store or Whole Foods, Sunflower Market, Sprouts etc. I've been mixing it in a lot of dishes and it tastes great!

Sutherlandia Frutescens: Is a powerful blood purifier.  Sources say that it has the potential to totally alkaline the body, meaning that it will abliterate inflammation in the body including cancer and even HIV.  You want your body to live in a PH balanced alkaline state.  If your body is too acidic you will be more likely to harvest disease.  Sutherlandia is hard to order in the US because its a plant only harvested in South Africa.

Mucuna Pruriens: Is used in a lot of Ayurvedic Medicine. Helps with sexual function, hormonal balance, depression, and management of Parkinson's Disease. This herb contains L-DOPA, a precursor to the neurotransmitter dopamine. The L-DOPA content increases when extracts are prepared.  L-DOPA converts into dopamine, an important brain chemical involved in mood, sexuality, and movement.


PGX: Helps with digestion, balancing blood sugar levels and weightloss.  It's recommended to take ten minutes prior to eating sugary foods in order for the body to not store unnecessary fats and sugars.

Castor Oil Packs:  I first heard about this from Edgar Cayce.  If you're not sure who Edgar Cayce is, I suggest you look him up, he cured over ten-thousand people through his use of holistic health practices.  My friend recommended these packs for the tons of knots I have in my back, he says they will totally melt them out of my body, I'm excited to see if it actually works.  The process is slightly messy but for what it does and all the aliments that it has so far cured, it's definitely worth a try.  You can find out how to make a pack from the Cayce site.  I was able to purchase everything from Whole Foods, as far as the flannel and the castor oil.

Since I mentioned a lot of info on alkalizing the body for treatment of diseases like cancer, I think it's also important to know about Dr.Tullio Simoncini. He explains that cancer is basically a fungus in the body and is treatable through sodium bicarbonate aka baking soda. To learn more about this process go to  his site. 

Fishies

Every few weeks or so I'll have a reoccurring dream where I'm cleaning out a murky fish bowl or tank, full of half-alive fish.  I take out any dead fish, clean the whole aquarium out, fill the tank back up with fresh water, and nurse the half-alive fish back to health, so-to-speak.  In the process of giving the fish fresh water and food I think I even pet a few and tell them it's all good and their gonna be just fine.  I wake up feeling satisfied that I helped all those little guys out and at the same time I definitely feel like my subconscious is trying to tell me something.  So I decided to Google search some fish dream interpretations and was a little surprised to read what they had to say:

"To see an aquarium in your dream indicates that you are aware of certain feelings that you possess but haven't been able to deal with. This may include needs, wants, and fantasies related to sex.  Alternately, it may imply that you are at a stagnant point in your life and are confused as to which path to follow.  It may also suggest that you are overly stressed and need to slow down, take a deep breath, and try to focus." (this one made the most sense)


"To see or clean a fish tank in your dream indicates how you have full control of your emotions. You keep your feelings in check. If you are watching the fish in the fish tank, then you may feel that your life is going nowhere or that you are going in circles with your life."


"To see fish swimming in your dream signifies insights from your unconscious mind. Thus to catch a fish represents insights which have been brought to the surface. Alternatively, a fish swimming in your dream may symbolize conception. Some women dream of swimming fish when they get pregnant. The fish is also an ancient symbol of Christianity and Christian beliefs. Consider the common phrases "like a cold fish", "fish out of water" or something that is "fishy" about a situation. It may also imply a slippery or elusive situation. Perhaps your dream could be telling you that "there are plenty of other fish in the sea", with regards to some relationship issue."

Ghost of my heart...

This felt good to create....Sometimes words can never describe how you're truly feeling inside.

I've been working on a new series of what I imagine as "love strings" or soul ties that one might still have connected to a former or current lover.  I found this really cool picture of a carte-de-visite portrait of a young girl standing by a balustrade holding a hat. Photographed by "Merrick" at Joseph Langridge's photographic studio, 33 Western Road, Brighton (c1864).  I added transparent jelly fish tentacles to portray what I envision as these elusive heart strings.... this is a concept photo that will help me in my drawings that are soon to come.