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Tuesday, October 18, 2011


I feel absolutely crushed... I can't stop thinking about the beautiful Nicolette Joyce...
I keep getting twisting waves of warm and cold sensations running through my heart ever since I heard the horrible news this past Saturday afternoon.  I keep thinking this can't be true, this can't be true...I can't help my eyes from tearing up every time I think of her.  She was too young for this to happen...ahead of her time...and a beauty from out of this world...I feel that everyone who knew her is in total shock.

I learned earlier tonight that she had this to say only 9 days ago, a week before we lost her:

"Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to loose.  You are already naked.  There is no reason not to follow your heart."

It's as if she knew...

In trying to make sense of the pain of loosing Nicolette, I sought solace from my friend Gardner Cole.  Last night he told me that as he gets older he's gotten more acquainted to the nature of loosing people and discovered some interesting revelations about the process of life and death.  He explained that he's noticed people seem to know when they are going to die, subconsciously; without a doubt we just know.  He gave me plenty of personal instances which backed up these findings as well.  Reading her quote tonight just verified his words.  He also shared that sometimes a person will choose to be an example to the group surrounding them, a sacrifice if you will, in order to help those around them to make better choices.  A possible wake-up call and realization of our own existence.  Strange thing is, learning about Nicolette more and more lately, I feel that she is the type of person that would stand up and say she'll do it, she'll be the brave soul to shake up her community and loved ones around her, so that we might remember to live whole heartily--to not take this precious life and the people surrounding it for granted.  That LIFE is short, LIVE and LOVE it up!!!

She definitely livened my senses, my awareness of the sacredness of our existence...suddenly, as if my vision became clearer, everyone in my life has become even more special to me.  I want to spend time with everyone I hold dear and look at them long in their eyes.  She has inspired me to do something more with my life, to live it up and quit my boring dead end job.  Nicolette Joyce has made me think about the legacy I will someday leave for the people around me to ponder. I want to make sure my time was well spent in this realm, because it's true, we could be gone without a moments notice.

Thank you for waking us up Nico...we love will always be with us sweetheart...